How quickly they forget: the revisionist's history of fat-shaming

Click to enlarge
Someone recently posted this in a Facebook group I frequent and at first I shrugged it off because I'm just one of those people who happens to think big looks good on both sexes.  But something about the words below just stayed with me, and after a while, I realized they were rubbing me in a really wrong way.

Let me start with the Eldest Sis.  My Eldest Sis once said that she gets very irritated when a fat man hits on her.  She's currently a size four, and let's just say a lot of work went into that, especially when you consider that growing, our people traditionally preferred fat women (and literally stated it just like that).  Now, when she first made that statement, I genuinely didn't understand what she meant.  I thought it was just an issue of preference.  She then tried to explain it to me thusly: straight of men of all sizes feel entitled to a conventionally beautiful woman.  But the moment a woman expresses a preference for a conventionally beautiful man, she's branded a shallow bitch, a selfish whore...you know the drill.

And while I got that, I still didn't "get it".  Until now.


When a picture is worth 52 million words....


"Queen of Dust" nominated for Best Short Novel

Bar Patrons, I am sooooo excited to announce that Queen of Dust, the third installment of the Selo & Inya series, has been nominated by The Swirl Awards in the Best Short Novel category.

In celebration of this nomination, Queen of Dust will be free to download starting tomorrow, July 22, 2014 until July 26, 2015.


Rapper Lyricks commemorates the loss of #EricGarner

(h/t Angry Asian Man)

It's been a while since we had a hip hop posts, and in light Jonathan Sanders, Sandra Bland, the one-year anniversary of the murder of Eric Garner, I think "Can't Breath" by Virginia rapper Lyricks is more than appropriate.

And yes, yes, comments are back...but the blog is going to be strictly moderated, more than ever.


Pouring a Sip for My Aunt Patricia

This past week I lost my maternal Aunt Patricia, and I'm still in that "daze" where it all seems unreal, like it's all happening in a different space-time continuum.

I first met my Auntie back in Cameroon when I was small.  I remember her quite well; she was one of my mother's younger sisters.  She was sweet, with an ethereal grace, and a fragile damsel's beauty, for like me, Patricia was the sickling in her immediate family.  However, while I grew up, I grew out many of my childhood ailments and now I have the immune system of an ox.

For my Auntie, however, illness would always be an issue; I noticed my mother in particular could not discuss Aunt Patricia without mentioning her health at least one.  But she remained an exquisite beauty and a self-sufficient entrepreneur who consistently pushed forward through life, with all her strength.

And while I remember my Auntie's health problems quite clearly, her strength and independence are all I can think about now.

So I pour sip for my Auntie Patricia, and will attempt to follow in her footsteps, for when I think about her fully,  I realize she left one hell of a legacy.


Straight Line Stitch drops "Transparency"


At the Bar with Alexis Brown

You know how most bands drop a great album, and then it's all downhill from there? *shakes head* Not Straight Line Stitch.

While some fans may take issue with all the years that pass between albums, I admire the time SLS dedicates to making sure each new release is better than the last. And yes, Transparency is much, much better than their last album, which was awesome in its own right, as was the album which came before.

I mean, just peep the single "Human Bondage" off the new album:

Mazel tov, y'all. Sorry I missed you in Houston last month. That will not happen again.

See Also

Fuck Yeah: Straight Line Stitch


Free For Five

In celebration of Middle Child Press's relaunch, we are having a Summer Blowout Sale with multiple books available at reduced price, but most importantly, two of my books are free for five days (Amazon is stingy and wouldn't let me run the promotion for longer).

So from now until July 11, 2015, you can download Violet Dusk and Selo & Inya: Lady of the Court, free of charge!

Click the images below to download:




Revisiting "No le pegue a la negra" (#BlackWomenMatter)

"Un matrimonio africano
Esclavos de un español
El les daba muy mal trato,
Y a su negra le pegó y fue alli
Se rebeló el negro guapo
Tomó venganza por su amor
Y aún se escucha en la verja:
'¡No le pegue a mi negra!'"

An African couple
Slaves of a Spaniard
He treated them very badly,
And hit his Black woman
It was then, that the heroic black man rebelled
He avenged his love
And you can still hear him yelling at the gates:
'Don't hit my black woman!'

Dang, brothas...what happened???

See Also

The lack of attention Arnesha Bowlers death got shows the problem with the black community


Open Mic Night: #WhoIsBurningBlackChurches?

So many things to write about; so much happening this week that it's nigh impossible to pick one thing.


The Distractions of Laws and Flags

...What’s even more puzzling for me is the logic that decides that marriage is a good ‘first step’ when considering the struggles queer people face today. It seems to me that the first step in making change should be about addressing issues that need urgent, immediate fixes: say, for example, people literally being killed. That’s at the least the logic that I think most people would apply to other kinds of ‘change’ they would want to see. If for instance, there are bunch of renovations you want to make in your house, my guess is most people would decide to first fix their leaky plumbing rather than change their wallpaper. The former might be harder and more expensive and not actually that noticeable once it’s done, but it’s something that needs to happen because it threatens the entire house. You need that for the whole thing to work. To potentially over-extend this metaphor, changing the wallpaper first might be great as a noticeable, tangible change, but it becomes less than productive if your shiny new wallpaper makes you forget that your house had a bunch of other problems too.

The lasting effect of Dylann Roof’s terrorist attack on nine African American women and men at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church now looks likely to be the removal of the Confederate flag from public display. South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley has called on the state legislature to strike the flag from the state’s capitol grounds. Elected leaders elsewhere, as well as major corporations, have all begun to “divest” themselves of symbols of the Confederacy, a century and a half after the Civil War ended.

Their actions are merely diversions. They are addressing the least important cause of Roof’s racist murder spree. Focusing on flags and monuments draws our attention from the hard work that is required to reduce the burden of racism in American society. And the public’s attention span is so very short that I wonder how many people will care after the flag frenzy passes and the nine funerals are over.

I wanna make a bet.

I wanna bet that in forty years, ALL of the idiots who currently say that "racism doesn't exist" and that POCs are "pulling the race card" will inevitably turn to their grandchildren, give a condescending pat on their backs and will say,

"You kids have it easy! Back in MY GENERATION, we elected a Black president, we fought against police brutality, and we restored equality in America! Oh yes, I was RIGHT THERE in the thick of it all, standing with the Blacks and Asians fighting "the man!" Yup, aren't you proud of your grandpa for standing up against racism?!"


I do, however, want to give a shout-out to the Alabama Governor who just executive-ordered four Confederate flags down. The massacre didn't even happen in his capital city. Meanwhile, Miz Nikki Haley's still talking that "debate" bullshit with her constituents, waitin' on them to reach a three-fifths - sorry - two-thirds consensus.