The Day Job Closet

I'm finally coming out of the day job closet.

My name is Ankh, I am an author, and the only reason I bother with non-writing work is to pay bills.  It's a hard thing to admit aloud, but it's finally sunk in.  I got degrees in psychology and sociology so I could understand people and write better characters.  So I'm now about to embark on a quest for a boring desk job...one that won't rob me of my energy to write when I get off work.

This finally hit home while I was talking with a manager on my floor who noticed I was applying internally.  He said some things which both confirmed my suspicions about my current, and also gave some tips which might land me a gig somewhere else...though I doubt that was his intention.

First off, red flags

Let's talk red flags on the job.  How do you know it's time to move on when there's seemngly no pressing need to move on?  You know...you have one of those jobs which seems "harmless" and it's easy to acclimate and start accepting certain things you really shouldn't.

The Bar Toasts Triple J's Birthday

This post was due out Tuesday, and I've been working on it, but life kept getting in the way of my giving props and mad love to blogger, writer, book reviewer (and straight-up nerd royalty) Jamie Jeans.  Happy Belated Birthday, bro; have some pink champagne on me.

Because of your tireless support for Middle Child Press and the way you totally "get" me and Amaya when we scribble, you drink free at the Bar all day, every day.

I admire your wit, appreciate your insightfulness, and enjoy your humor immeasurably.

Keep making those vids, keep sharing that love, and may the gods bless and reward you a thousand times over.

xoxo,

Moi

For the record, you can'T touch my hair #youcanTtouchmyhair

So Bcbgrl33 recently posted an article on my FB timeline about the "You CAN Touch My Hair" Event in New York, where a bunch of Black women with signs allowed complete strangers to come up and stick their fingers in their natural hair.

Now...I'm not knocking these women.  Their bodies, their decisions - that's what it's all about.  If that's what they really want, good for them.  Personally, for me, it screams "petting zoo" and I'm already bracing for the next time someone wants to ask me about my hair or touch it without my permission.  See, "certain" people have trouble seeing blacks as individuals and won't be able to differentiate between these black women, and your average black woman who's willing to mail your hand back to you if you touch her hair without permission.*

I'm not going to go into all the usual historical and sociological reasons for why it's not cool to touch a black woman's hair nor interrogate her about it.  I can tell you one of my personal reasons, though.

I am not just my hair.  I'm a person.  Granted, if you see me from behind and the first thing you notice are my braids or twists or what have you, fine.  But when you come up to talk to me, the person who actually wears the hair, I expect you to talk to me.

It's Not the Same Damn Thing

Don’t you wish Barack Obama could be as free as Michelle Obama when talking to people in public? Yesterday, she took down a lesbian protester from the group GetEqual while speaking at a private democratic fundraiser that cost $500-$10,000 to attend. You can read it here. The self identified lesbian protestor started yelling about the need for the President to sign an executive order so she can have her ”federal equality” before she dies.

Well, whoopee fuckin’ deal. Bitch I been wanting all my life to be equal in my country of birth, get in line. Yelling at the President or his wife would have gotten my black lesbian ass locked up in jail. You just got escorted out which was nothing more than another example of white privilege in America.

~ TheSkeptikOne

Right there with you, boo-boo.

All these white people writing about poorly how Michelle Obama handled the heckler need to shut the fuck up and sit down somewhere.

For one, I'm not a fan of hecklers.  They're the ones who cut into comic routines and crash the stage during concerts and ultimately waste people's time.  If you're paying to see someone and hear them speak, then shut the fuck up and let them speak.

Ratings are in...cue lack of surprise

From an LA Times article entitled, "OWN's 'The Haves and the Have Nots': Record ratings, brutal reviews":

“The Haves and the Have Nots” were the network’s highest-rated premiere “ever,” according to a release from OWN.

The 9 p.m. airing delivered 1.77 million viewers (1.57 million of them women age 25-54). The second episode at 10 p.m. grew to 1.8 million viewers (1.67 million were women 25-54).

However, initial reviews for the series were not kind. OWN did not send the show out to critics prior to its premiere, mirroring Perry's policy of not allowing his films to be pre-screened for reviewers.

Brian Lowry of Variety called the show "claustrophobically cheap, not to mention poorly written and indifferently acted." He added that the show could potentially damage Winfrey's legacy of uplift and self-empowerment.

Mary McNamara of the Los Angeles Times was even more scathing, calling the show "so awful that the awfulness appears intentional. Except that might make it interesting, and it just isn't."

As far as not allowing critics to see the show before its premiere, McNamara wrote, "One can only assume OWN hoped to prevent us from rising en masse to prevent 'The Have and the Have Nots" from ever airing before staging intervention with Winfrey, who has apparently lost her mind.*"

Mm-hm...sounds about right.

By the way, Bar patrons...the Abagond Challenge is not over. These are some dark times for the perception of Black women and we need some written love to counteract that mess.

Step right up...cast your posts.

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*Did anyone else die laughing when they read this?

The Bar Loves Ana Feleo

So Jules got me hooked on a historical drama from the Philippines called Amaya.  And while there many lovely ladies and legendary actresses, none caught my attention like the regal, full-figured, and overall stunning opera singer and actress Ana Feleo.

On Amaya, which takes place in pre-colonial Philippines, Ana portrays an apprentice priestess, Bayang, whose tribe is raided.  After her tribe falls, she becomes a slave in her conqueror's house.

I've yet to watch the whole series, which is quite educational and entertaining, but after almost 50 episodes, I'm still eager to see what becomes of her character.

To be honest, I don't know a whole lot about Ana just yet.  She's the daughter of Johnny Delgado and Laurice Guillen, and has a sister named Ina.  She has the face of a goddess and the voice of angel...but that sort of goes without saying.

Peep:

Count the Fail

I ain't gon' say nothin' about this one.  I'mma let y'all tackle this one all by y'allselves.

Mm-mm...*shakes head*...I ain't sayin' shit.

And the "Little Shit Town Award" Goes to....

(h/t Rippa)

As the story goes, a Papa John’s delivery driver inadvertently dialed the number of a customer to whom he had delivered some pizza. The call was recorded by the customer’s voicemail where Mr. Racist McBigot — that would be, the delivery driver — was caught saying some not-so-nice things about African-Americans. Oh, and did I mention that the customer in question was indeed an African-American? Uh-huh, apparently the delivery driver took issue with the tip given to him by the customer. The customer tipped the driver $5.00 on a $15.21 order, which according to the driver, wasn’t enough and typical of “niggers.”

“That’s the only requirement for being a nigger in Sanford,” the driver jokingly tells a co-worker, while complaining about the tip. “Yeah, they gave me five bucks there. Fine, outstanding African-American gentleman of the community.” He also added that the customer was, “so black, fireflies follow him around in the daytime.” To which was met with laughter by co-workers who I assume were all white. (Source)

Papa John’s CEO John Schnatter took to social media, posting an apology on Facebook and Twitter for “the reprehensible language used by two former employees.”

“Their thinking and actions defy both my personal and the company’s values and everything for which this company stands. The employees responsible for this absolutely unacceptable behavior were immediately terminated,” Schnatter wrote on Monday. (Source)

I want the Abagond Challenge to continue by all means, but I needed to laugh real quick about this story right here.

BrothaWolf Takes on the Abagond Challenge

Leave it to BrothaWolf to answer the Abagond Challenge first.  The following is an excerpt from his blog:

As a black male in America, do I secretly desire white women as expected by so many people who want to know if the age old stereotype of the negro’s lust for white meat is largely true? The answer is no, at least not the way that most people would assume.

...Today, when it comes to physical beautiful, I prefer thickness and curves. I love big booties and soft bellies with cute navels. I still think all women are beautiful in their own ways, but I place black women above all.

I used to believe that it doesn’t matter who you date as long as that person treats you with love, respect and dignity. But, we live in the United States, one of the most racist, judgmental nations on the planet. Here, image is everything. You need to judge a book by its cover as this is what society warrants. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That’s true. But what if the beholder is brainwashed?

In the West white women are the default of feminine beauty to where they placed way above every other kind of woman. Society expects everyone, especially black men, to lust for white women. And this is why you can expect to see some white women to be egotistic and some white men to be highly and insanely defensive and paranoid.

...But white people should really get over themselves when it comes to looks. Despite popular opinion, most black men desire black women, and that seems to drive white people crazy. It tells them that they, white women particularly, are not irresistible over black women and that they find black women more fetching.

That is the heart of the revolution to fight against white racism. Black love is what is needed and there is a lot of that going around.

Read the full version on his blog.

The Abagond Challenge

As early as age 12 I started to understand that I was seriously out-of-step with (white) American ideas of beauty:

I did not get the blonde-hair-blue-eyed thing at all. I knew, intellectually, that it was “supposed” to look better, but to me it did not. I liked black hair. All the way. I liked dark-brown, almond-shaped eyes – they were way better looking.

The thing about big breasts I did understand, and not just intellectually either, but even there I preferred women with big bottoms over those with big breasts.

I did not get the thin thing. Sure, thin was better than fat, but thick was better than either. The shape of black women was cut the right way – white women’s bodies were too straight up and down, too stick-like, not much shape (in general, of course).

Thin lips: This was before Angelina Jolie gave thick lips the White Seal of Approval. Back then whites made it crystal clear that they found big lips disgusting. They did not even call them “big”. White vernacular culture had a far worse name for them. But despite that I loved big lips. They were anything but disgusting!

The face of a black woman could turn me on. White women almost always had to be naked to have the same effect.

~ Abagond, "My supposed secret desire for white women"

Okay, so Abagond recently penned one of those posts which garnered the kind of illogical pushback that could only come from a troll.  Now, the reason I dismiss the commenter in question as a troll is that when a heterosexual black man indicates via opinion he prefers black women, there's really nothing to "debate".  After all, there isn't a problem when heterosexual Asian men voice preference for Asian women or when heterosexual white men voice preference for white women a.k.a. Hollywood, and so on.