America, Stop Trying to Scare Black Women

We white men aren’t the ones going mad from sexual frustration, as liberals claim. We have enough potential partners.... Instead, it is black women who lack potential partners and have to tolerate degradation as a result. 

Sick Heil Blogger

*sigh*

I've seen a lot of bullshit like this, and honestly it didn't come as a surprise to me.  As I learned years ago in grad school while studying Race and Ethnicity in America, whenever a minority (or in this case, members of a minority) starts to do very well in America, its success always comes at steep price.  Notice the first line under the section "Effects of Model Minority Stereotyping" states: Asian Americans may also be commonly stereotyped by the general public as being overly studious, smug, materialistic, arrogant about their academic and professional successes, elitist, brand name conscious, yet paradoxically passive.

'Cause in America, when talking about minorities, you just gotta have that paradox.

So let's talk black female success for a minute.  A person's prime working years are ages 25-54--from around the time you're in grad school to about the year before you retire.  As of 2008, 73.9% of black women in America within that age bracket are employed (the highest, by the way).  As of 2006-2007, we are the most educated (far left column), with no small thanks to African immigrants (you're welcome, by the way).  Thanks to our "superior performance" we've seen very high growth in black American incomes, despite continued racial discrimination...even to the point where we make more money than white women.

Makes us sound pretty good on paper doesn't it?  And yet...if you type "successful black women" into Google right now, you get this bullshit right here.

See what I meant about a price?  Now, let's talk paradoxes: Black women are "strong", "independent", "ass-kicking" women whose rate marriage is dropping while our childlessness is currently growing (you know, because we don't want to be a bunch of single moms), but we're somehow also illiterate, foul-mouthed, disposable crack hos who've given birth to a dozen kids--in other words, undesirable whores.

Ladies, ever turn a guy down for sex, and then hear "otherwise" from his friends?  That's black female history in America, right up through the mid-20th Century.  Of all the varying groups of WoC, black women--as a group--are "notorious" for rejecting white men in record time.  Now, any of you who've read anything about white privilege or the white tendency to assume universal desirability know that white guys aren't used to that kind of treatment.

Many us know this from personal experience.

The sick heil blogger I quoted at the beginning would have you thinking black women's marriage rates are low because we are just sooooooo undesirable.  He even goes so far as to quote a Chris Rock joke from Kill the Messenger, stating how black women are angry they're losing black man to unattractive white women (mind you, the blogger is trying to imply we are so unattractive that black men would rather be with unnattractive white women than regular black women).  Quite frankly, I'm too amused to be offended, because I also noticed the blogger conveniently leaves off the rest of the joke, in which Chris Rock says black women are angry about black men and white women "because black women aren't attracted to white men"--and in the many instances where that's true, there's a sorta, kinda actual reason for that.  And even when we do go out with a white guy, we know the drama is just beginning.

Now, as I mentioned elsewhere on this blog, vanilla is a perfectly good flavor.  If a white guy is strong, realistic, and fully understanding of racial reality in America, then he's a catch.  But if he doesn't have those three crucial qualities, he can love a black woman all he wants, but chances are he won't make the best husband or father.  This white blogger clearly likes black women, and figures we should date white guys, especially since we're meeting so many of them in the workplace and on campus...you know, 'cause it's naturally the next step.

First of all...what about other men?  You know...the ones who are neither white nor black?  Remember them?  There are millions of them in America.  Outside of America there are billions of them--hell, they outnumber black and white men put together, so why is it they don't even get mentioned?  Think about it.  Everyone's going on about how Latinos are projected to become the new majority in America--in fact, some even project POC in general will be the majority--so why, then, the automatic suggestion black women pair up with white men?  Exactly which social equation was used to come up with this oddly specific solution, and what precisely was the logic behind it?  No, seriously...I want to know!

Second of all, if black women are so unattractive, so undesirable, then why are there so many articles urging us to give white guys a chance?  I'm finding them left and right, in the news and in blogs, and yes...there are numerous white authors amongst them.  The debate is heated, so heated people are tearing into other, black women are protesting that they get approached by white men all the time but just don't want one...meanwhile faceless journalists are dropping scarier and scarier numbers about "lonely, black women", urging us to go out with white guys before we die alone and childless.

Seriously, guys?  You really want me to believe those are our only two options?  Marry a white guy or be miserable?  Come on, now...you'd think considering the history of white male-black female relationships, not to mention how white men continue to this day to inappropriately proposition black girls and women in America (each of us has years' worth of horror stories, so just skip over the "nuh-uh" portion of the blog response...it does not endear you to us)...you'd think that after considering all that, America would choose a less "coercive" tactic to get more black women to accept white men.  As history's shown, coercion does not sit well with us.

Hints from Moi

1) Make up your mind, White [Male] America.  You can either love us or hate us, but you can't have it both ways.  We're not a substitute for women.  We're not disposable.  We're not here for your convenience.  Check the current rape statistics--we don't "tolerate degradation" from you.  I know your fathers and grandfathers and great-grandfathers may have a different story about us, but remember these are the same folks who lynched, raped, and denied many rights to minorities.  Ergo, it's safe to say they lack credibility.

2) Media affects public perception: stop stereotyping black women.  Stop limiting our appearances in film and TV.  A healthier, more accurate depiction will help white guys develop a healthier way of perceiving and interacting with us--duh.  Unless, of course...that's not what America really wants....

3) And when portraying us, show us being happily married to different men from various backgrounds, not just black or white.  This current debate reeks of "white guys getting back at black men" (I say this because while I have seen unattractive white women with black men, I've seen even more hot white girls on the arms of black men.  I've seen hot white girls deliberately skip over white guys in every bar, restaurant, and mall I've been to.  I've had white girls befriend me in hopes of meeting black men.  When we're in public, they speak to me in hushed tones so white guys can't hear.  They drool over black men in a way they don't drool over other men [except maybe Latinos].  And I've heard/read way more than my fair share of white guys bitching about losing white girls to black men.  So yes, you are angry.  Just admit it--it's healthy.)

4) And America?  Stop trying to "scare" us into bed with you.  It tends to bring up bad memories.  You may have forgetten them, as is your privilege, but many of our mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers haven't.