Split Hairs, White Clouds, and the Eightfold Path

There's a commenter on Abagond who goes by the name "Thaddeus".  You remember him.  Like seriously...from even before that.  If you've got a blog, and you need someone to split hairs, cloud your issues, or just overall derail the topic - he's your man.

Splitting Hairs

Now...can you tell me what's wrong his queries and statements where whites and POC discussing race is concerned?  (Quick back history on this guy: he's a white (duh) university lecturer who supposedly lectures about race to white kids.  So naturally, he's more than qualified to come onto a blog like Abagond and lecture POC as well)

1) Thaddeus once clashed with numerous commenters (women especially) over rape during the slavery era.  He insisted that commenters differentiate "rape" from "coercion", thereby stirring up a new discussion which distracted angry commenters from Abagond's point: white men were forcing themselves on women of color - whether by flat-out forceable rape or calculated coercion.

2) When Abagond spoke of genocide - which white Americans prefer to gloss over - Mr. Man here felt the need to "lecture" Abagond on the difference between systemic elimination and all-out mass murder.  Now white folks...listen closely, 'cause this concerns you: we don't think of the past the way you do.  We tend to focus on the "what" more than the "how".  If Native Americans were given an option concerning genocide, they would simply wish to never have happened.  Jews don't think some "other" mass extermination tactic would've been better than gas chamber.  Why?  Because we don't focus too much on the "how it happened" - we're too concerned with "the fact it happened", and how it affects us today.  (And when Thaddeus is talking about Native Americans, note the ventriloquism).

3) When I told Thaddeus people of color loathe starting racial conversations with whites because we neither want to nor are obligated to deal with the nearly inevitable "nervous breakdowns" or "temper tantrums" which derail the conversation's focus, and make it all about them and their feelings, Thaddeus "wondered" how - and I quote - "a sincere reaction" could be construed as "a tantrum".  As I stated elsewhere, indeed these reactions are sincere: sincerely narcissistic.  Sincerely selfish.  Sincerely self-indulgent.  Sincerely white privileged - yes...exactly.

Why Cloud?

"Clouding" controls the conversation, another thing people of color loathe dealing with when discussing race with whites.  Most whites want to - and doggedly try to - control racial conversations.  I'll be honest with you; in person, I refuse to meaningfully talk to whites about race.  I refuse.  I am sick to death of being repeatedly cut off in mid-sentence, screamed at as though I were a wayward servant, and then essentially ordered not to "let this ruin the friendship because it's bullshit" (mind you, I don't speak to these people anymore, and when I do run into them I get a lot of passive aggressive 'tude).

Which Path?

For white folks (who'd rather chew off their left arm than wind up like that asshole up there) trying to productively contribute to a race discussion, I suggest you look to our Eastern siblings who suggest ever so brilliantly:

Right View
Right Intention
Right Speech
Right Action
Right Livelihood
Right Effort
Right Mindfulness
Right Concentration

Now, spirituality aside, how do you guys think whites could apply these tenets of the Eightfold Path to discussing race with POC?
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(Picture borrowed from the blog of the brilliant Kai Chang.)