The Velvet Hall: 6 - Blood Strings

Previously

1 - The Darker Sister
2 - Homecoming
3 - Appearances
4 - Impressions
5 - Riddles

A/N: This is likely to be the last chapter I post from this book before it's published.  Enjoy the sneak peak!
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Underappreciated Actress of Color #55: Ruth Negga

Fans will recognize Ruth Negga as Nikki, the ill-fated teleporter from Misfits (which, ever since spoilers were recently shared here at the bar, I've promptly stopped watching).  Nikki was Curtis's beautiful second girlfriend after Alisha, who took a bullet to the chest a la Jaden from Nikita (yes...still bitter), and died in his arms at the end of the second season.

And despite Curtis's passionate vows to find a way to bring her back, by the end of the third season, he ain't got jack to show for it.

But I digress.

Ruth is an Irish actress of Ethiopian descent, in case her exquisite features and bouncy curls have you wondering.

Ruth is actually doing well, considering how young she is (about 30).  Unfortunately, despite all her work, not much of it's available on Netflix yet.  Which majorly blows considering how much I want to see her play something completely different from Nikki.

Fauxgyptian Hall of Shame

I'm going to keep this brief.

1) The Ancient Egyptians were Black Africans...not white, not Arab, nor any other random, conveniently ambiguous shade of (really) light brown.
2) Whenever non-Black women portray Ancient Egyptian women, they often look ridiculous, because the clearly African style doesn't suit them the way it does us.
3) In keeping with the vow to be more vocal, I've decided to start the Fauxgyptian Hall of Shame. This is not a spectator sport. Send me links and names of Fauxgyptians who make your corneas itch, and I'll add them to the page.

For the record, these are Ancient Egyptians done right:

(Thanks, Anna Renee!)

And these...are hideously wrong:

It's Happened, Kids!

Finally!

Guinevere is finally Queen of Camelot.

*nods*  $20 says the hatorade's about to explode.

"Midnight to 4 a.m.", a Writing Exercise

All you disgruntled, embittered writers at the bar, this one's for you.

When I first began my "Underappreciated Actress" series, I mentioned that as an author, I sometimes write as though I know my work is going to become a TV show or a film.  This means composing a highly organized plot which delivers as much information as humanly possible in a short amount of time.  And imagining who'd I like to play what.

To practice, I like to do writing exercises, composing entire works I know I'll never publish, just to get my flow down.  I invite my fellow scribblers at the bar to do one with me.

Here are your players:

Isolationist Redux, a guest post

(written by Neo-Prodigy)

So in light of this recent fuckery here:

http://www.ankhesen-mie.net/2010/01/underappreciated-actress-of-color-11.html?showComment=1324237247037#c6541818755482640534

our esteemed bartender asked that I pen a guest post offering the gay male perspective. I was happy to oblige. I wish I could say the whole “gay men =/= real men” trope was the worst or the only thing that gay men have to endure but I’d be lying if I said that was true.

...Because We are Suuuuuuch Big Fans

I've been deleting a bunch of comments lately which, when I think about it, are part of what I shall refer to as TV Guide Syndrome.  TV Guide Syndrome often occurs in one of two ways:

1) As with Taraji P. Henson's case, a person of position/an institution claims to be a "big fan" an artist of color, yet when presented with a perfect opportunity to cast them, book them, and/or promote them...they don't.  The POC is then not-so-coincidentally passed over for a white artist, and if/when there's an outcry, a standard no-pology is issued to shut people up.

2)TVGS also occurs when members of a fandom deliberately ignore that some of their fellow fans are specifically targeting the (often) single POC on a show or in a film.  These are the types I've been deleting; they've accused me of being racist for pointing out racism, whether it's towards Zoe Saldana, Angel Coulby, or Telisha Shaw.

Fun fact, kids: "fandom" comes from, of course, "fan", which in turn is short for "fanatic", as in "absolutely crazy about a person, place, or thing".

POC I'm Watching: Sujata Day

Previously

At the Bar with Sujata Day

While doing some homework for my interview with Miss Day, I saw that she appeared on Buffy the Vampire Slayer as the "Shy Girl" in the Season 7 ep "Storyteller."  Since I originally mistook her for a Black girl, I figured I ought to go back and take another gander.

She doesn't have a lot of screen time, of course, and she doesn't get many lines, but I figured her being on Buffy qualified as a nerd moment, so I decided to share.

The Black Girls Club

A while back, I started a poem called "The Black Girls Club".  It was inspired by the feeling that when you're a Black woman living in a America, it's like you're part of a club.  You don't remember signing up for it.  It doesn't have a specific charter or goal.  Everyone else always seems to be on the outside looking in, sometimes whispering, sometimes yelling.  They pick apart your clothes, hair, and flesh like vultures.  You feel like the wealthy celebrity who can't catch a break in the media.  You feel like the poor girl who can't catch a break at school.

And though some people do worship the ground you walk on, most people just loooooooove to hate you.

Our own dear Llama who comments here at the bar recently emailed me about Person of Interest starring Taraji P. Henson.  You remember that one...you know, where Henson was left off the cover of TV Guide when it covered the show, and the editor issued that standard no-pology which made your stomach want to eat itself?

Yeah...some of you remember.

RIP Sara Ramirez's Thickness

(Thanks, Nicthommi)

Moment of silence for this once-great beauty, shall we?

She looks like she aged 10 years overnight.  *sigh*  Man, do I need a drink.

Seriously, White Women, It's Perfectly Okay to Be Thick

Normally, this a WoC-centered blog.

But since America's war on thick women isn't limited to just one shade, Nicthommi's comments on the Jennifer Tilly post really got me thinking.  While we tend to be more accommodating and realistic our own circles of color, in white circles, it's not the same.  For example, in black and brown circles, a thick woman really isn't that big a deal.  If anything, she's most likely the norm or the ideal.

In white circles...not so much.

Phenomenal will-have-a-career-for-decades chanteuse Adele Adkins once mentioned how when she first became famous, the magazines in America seemed to focus on her weight rather than her haunting voice, or memorable lyrics, or exquisite musical style.  Fine.  Let's focus on her weight here as well.  Adele is fucking beautiful.  End of story.

ST:DS9, an Exercise in Dreamcasting

Let's get right to it, shall we?

J. August Richards as the new Capt. Benjamin Sisko

Richards has the looks, the poise, the strength, and even the singing ability.  Make no mistake; replacing Avery Brooks is probably not the smartest thing to do, but if you're gonna do it, you might as well do it with the closest shoo-in.

ST:TNG, an Exercise in Dreamcasting (Updated)

With the reboot of the old Star Trek igniting fans, I've thought about The Next Generation getting rebooted as well.  Of course, I have different folks in mind for a cast that we will NEVER see...but hey, a pygmy can dream.

Faran Tahir as the new Cpt. Picard

Tahir was straight up robbed in the 2009 reboot.  This man had the most commanding presence in the whole film...and he got axed within the first five minutes.  It was wrong.

I think Tahir could handle Picard's trademark stoicism and almost marital dedication to his ship.  And while I adore Patrick Stewart, I have to be honest; Tahir is much, much, much, much finer than he.

Moving on now.

Underappreciated Actress of Color #54: Jennifer Tilly

Born Jennifer Elizabeth Chan, Ms. Tilly here is of Chinese descent, which I think most folks tend to forget.  And if you Google pics of this woman, you'll also notice how even though she's in her early fifties, she simply refuses to age.

Talk about a fine wine.

I can't remember what I first saw her in, but I do remember liking her in whatever I saw - Sister Mary Explains It All, Bound with Gina Gershon, her random episode on Frasier, or her recurring role as Crystal on the cancelled-too-soon Out of Practice (2005), which I started watching because Henry Grubstick Christopher Gorham stars in it (along with Stockard Channing).

Jennifer "The Unabombshell" Tilly is also a professional poker player; at one point she actually outlasted 600 other players which really throws me.  She's so expressive and whimsical (with that distinctively high, raspy voice) that I have to wonder what her poker face must look like.

She took a break from acting to play poker for a while, but as you can see on her IMDB page,  she's returned to acting with a vengeance.  Miss Thang here has five upcoming projects scheduled for release over the next 1-2 years, and I can't wait to see what she does next.

My Thoughts on Political Incorrectness

***TRIGGER WARNING***

To be honest, whenever people - especially members of marginalized groups - bring up political incorrectness as a defense for some sort of fail, I just roll my eyes.  Political incorrectness, to me, is just another divide-and-conquer strategy to keep marginalized communities negatively focused on one another.

Ever notice how politically incorrect humor/observations, much like institutionalized racism, generally tend to flow one way - towards marginalized groups?  It's just a way to attempt to say something derogatory about a group and maintain immunity.  One might as well preface a statement with, "I'm not a racist/ transphobe/ sexist/ homophobe, but...."

See, I've noticed that groups like POC, for example, can't be fully "politically incorrect" about white people, not even in humor.  Hell, they walk out of friggin' Paul Mooney shows and most POC consider him to be pretty tame.  And for all the white folks who've traversed the blogosphere and gone home crying, understand that what you've read on the race blogs so far is actually diluted.  That's POC actually being nice - even on blogs like White Watch.  So if you're hurt, angered, and/or frightened by what POC have said so far, then you're not even remotely ready to handle what many POC actually want to say.

Confessions of a Customer Service Representative

I hate you.

So, like, I have one of those non-jobs right now which make me wanna take up smoking Virginia Slims again (don't judge).  I haven't had a non-job like this since, oh...2005, and now that I'm back in one, there are a few things I want to get off my chest.

Now, those of you who've worked in customer service before already know this shit.  Those of you who have firmly remained on the other side of the fence, however, might want to listen up and pay attention.

Confession #1: I hate you

From the moment your case/account/ticket/whatever comes to my attention, my first question to myself is, "Okay...how do I get rid of this person?"  And thus begins the strategizing.  Mind you, when a CSR is forming a strategy to get rid of a customer, what the customer thinks, feels, or wants is never a factor.  Tell me your story until you're blue in the face - it won't matter.  You are the enemy.  You interrupted my daydreams of Henry Grubstick (*fans*).  You're the reason I can't finish my illegal bag of peanut M & M's stashed in the side pocket of my purse.

You are evil and you need to be destroyed.

So, I'm in Love with Henry Grubstick

Christopher Gorham as "Henry Grubstick"

And I mean in love.  I'm talking watching ep after ep after ep of Ugly Betty , unholy, unhealthy, literally dreaming 'bout this dude type of love.

*blissful sigh*

In a way, Andrew Allan James is partially to blame for this because after seeing him play a hotter version of his nerd self in the latest ep of Awkward Black Girl, my infamous love of nerds has increased with a vengeance.  He was the primer for what came after.

And by Gawd is this a (well-written) nerd.  Henry Grubstick is an accountant and next-level mathlete who knows random stuff like the circumference of the Earth (24901.55 miles/40075.16 kilometers, thank you very much).  Since he can't dress up for Halloween at work, he pulls a Superman/Clark Kent.  Henry goes to restaurants inspired by the European Middle Ages, and critiques the mutton.  He drinks milk to coat his stomach before he imbibes alcohol...and then gets drunk off wine coolers.  He can't dance for shit.  He bowls for a team of accountants called The Debitz (I know), and he apparently has a thing for thick women of color.

I hope America Ferrera savored every single kiss and hug she shared with this man on set. You wanna talk white boys I dig? Shoot Henry Grubstick to the top of the list.

POC I'm Watching: Leonard Roberts

LAWD...I love this man.

If you haven't rented the film Red Sands, I recommend you hightail it to Netflix and get you a copy.  Leonard Roberts gives a performance that'll have you dying.

I won't bore you with unnecessary details.  It's a C-Movie, with special effects from the late 1990s and a predictable plot, filmed on a budget of about nine dollars and fifty-two cents.  I don't even remember too much of the soundtrack to describe it except to say it was generic and unremarkable.

But if you're wondering the real reason why a movie starring Leonard Roberts, JK Simmons, Shane West, and Callum Blue silently came and went, I'm guessing it wasn't because of this movie's obvious flaws, but its greatest virtue.  It's a horror movie...that's anti-war and fairly informative.

Just to Be Clear: Reviewing Web Shows by POC

I've noticed a subtle shift in the 'sphere ever since I did my tentative review on Osiris.  *shrug*  Sometimes I don't know my own strength.

At this time, I have yet to officially boycott a POC web production and exile it from the bar for all time, so let me be clear about my attitude towards web shows created by and starring people of color: I support them all.  I may not enjoy them all.  I may not agree with them all.  Hell, I don't even watch them all.  But I support them all because they're fighting an uphill battle in an unjust war, and I more than understand where they're coming from.

However, I am socially and artistically critical of these shows, and have every intention of remaining so.  I don't want POC artists to get comfortable and lazy, thinking that as long as they just cast a lot of POC, they'll automatically get financial support - oh, no.  I need to see good writing.  I need to see innovation.  Slapping faces of color on a project and riding that wave to the bank is a tactic used by Hollywhite, and I have no desire to see that here.  I need to see the talent these artists claim to have.

That being said, allow me to clarify a few more things.

Soulmates, Fidelity, and Deterring Men with Rings

Just when I think I'm done with this topic (and all its relatives), new shit happens to prove my point all over again.

So I'm at work, right?  And I meet this delightful woman who moved across the country because of a "very messy divorce" (her exact words).  We get to talking and she notices all the bling on my fingers.  She asked what my husband does and I explained I am single.  She lifted my left hand, looking at my ring and saying, "This is a man-deterrent."

First of all, that's bullshit.  21st Century men will ask if you have a man, whether you're alone and ringless, or alone with a ring, or have a ring and a man attached to your hip.  No matter how many times you tell them you're all set, they ask you shit like, "Well, are you faithful to him?  How can you be sure he's faithful to you?"  Rings may deter women, but they sure as hell don't deter men, unless they're much older and thus still civilized.

I explained that I see things in terms of options.  Men, for me, are optional.  While I currently do not identify as gay or consistently bisexual, I accept that the universe is full of infinite wonders and I may very well end up with a woman (*shrugs*  I don't know.  It could happen).  Or I could comfortably end up alone.  Or with a significant other, but not legally married, or even living together.  I believe in keeping things open - plain and simple.

The woman I was talking to, however, felt she "had to believe" that there was "that one person out there" for her (again, her exact words).